


Strong and hot

by FeeltheBerena



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeeltheBerena/pseuds/FeeltheBerena
Summary: Bernie is the favourite customer of a new barrista at Pulses, and Serena is not happy about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Monday, 8AM**

'Lucky you, getting to go home to a nice warm bed' Serena grumbled, glaring at the woman holding up the queue, fumbling in her purse.  _Honestly,_ Serena thought grumpily,  _what kind of idiot doesn't have their money ready at the till?!_

 _'_ Well it's nowhere near as nice without you in it' Bernie flashed a cheeky grin at Serena as they finally reached the till.

'Flirt!' Serena laughed, swatting Bernie's arm.

'Sorry, can I get an espresso and a hot chocolate please' the barrista nodded, smiling at Bernie.

'Hot chocolate at your age- I'm pretty sure I'm spend all my waking hours with a child' 

'You wound me' Bernie dramatically explained with her hand over her heart. 'And you know I can't get to sleep without either without either whisky or hot chocolate after a shift. I don't suppose you're hiding some whisky behind that counter, are you?' Bernie joked to the barrista as she was getting ready to take Serena's money.

'Tragically not. If I did, I would give it to you in a heartbeat. Tell you what- whipped cream and marshmallows on the house' the young girl was beaming at Bernie, who looked mildly impressed.

'Crickey, service with a smile at this ungodly hour. You can stay!' Bernie laughed, as the girl blushed and smiled sheepishly. 

Serena frowned, looking between the two women.

'The pair of you- this chipper on a Monday morning, the scientifically proven armpit of the week. It's not natural' Serena said, taking her change and walking away with Bernie.

'Have a nice day!' the girl called a bit too loudly, blushing furiously as everyone in the cafe looked at her.

'You too' Bernie called back with a smile, as Serena tried not to laugh.

'Alright, I'll  see you later' Serena said, giving Bernie a quick kiss.

Lucy stared at Bernie's retreating figure from the till, nearly knocking over a customer's mocha.

**Wednesday 10:30PM**

'Oh hello! I thought you were off tonight ' Serena said after nearly colliding with Bernie.

'Covering for Ric- wife number six is apparently just on the horizon. Fancy a cuppa?' Bernie grinned,  suddenly awake for seeing Serena.

'Bernie- got a surprise for you!' Lucy beamed, almost bouncing on the spot. 

'I am spoiled! I have my two favourite ladies with me and then there's more' Serena snorted at this, while Lucy blushed furiously, smiling at Bernie.

'Assuming it's the end of your shift, then you can have a dash of this in your hotel chocolate' as she crooked her finger, Bernie looked over the counter to see a hip flask. 

'Just don't tell my boss, please.'

'Of course not- that's really sweet of you, Lucy. If ever you're in need of a surgeon, I'm your gal. Next best thing- keep the change'. Oh, and a decaf tea for my beautiful companion' Bernie smiled up adoringly at Serena after handing over the note.

'Ah, remembered I'm here. Honestly, shes like a puppy- she falls in love with anyone who feeds or waters her!' Bernie and Serena both laughed, while Lucy blushed again, smiling at Bernie.

'Well, there you are. Have a lovely night' Lucy said to Bernie, not once looking at Serena.

'You too- thanks again, my dear!' Bernie said.

'She fancies the pants off you' Serena said as they left with drinks in hand.

'Don't be daft. I'm old enough to be her mother!' Bernie laughed, shaking her head.

When Bernie glanced back as they left, Lucy was waving at her. Bernie waved back, while Serena shook her head in disbelief.

 

 

* * *

 


	2. Two weeks later

**Friday, 5 PM**

**'...** my speciality in my youth was strip poker, although I don't think anybody would want to see that anymore!' Serena stepped out of lift to hear Bernie say this to Lucy, as her rich laughter filled the café. The look on Lucy's face said that she very much wanted to see that.

Serena ground her teeth for a moment, before smiling and going to wrap her arms around Bernie from behind. Normally, she wouldn't do this, as Bernie has a natural tendency not to like being snuck up on, but Lucy needed to know Bernie was off the market. 

She felt Bernie tense in her arms for a split second, before her body relaxed. She knew it was Serena from the second she had touched her; her touch, her scent, just Serena's presence was now familiar to her, like coming home. Bernie twisted in Serena's with a smile and kissed her. 

Bernie missed the bitter look in Lucy's eyes, but Serena certainly didn't. She draped her arm possessively around Bernie as she sat down.

'So, what are we talking about ladies?' Serena glared at Lucy, daring her to try and make a move.

'Poor Lucy here has been suffering through my old army stories. Turns out I toured with her father briefly' Bernie's eyes glittered with glee, delighted to relive some of her happy army memories. 

'Hardly suffered. It's so cool to know what you guys got up to out there- my dad won't talk to me about it' Lucy looked down at the table, as if she was about to burst into tears. Bernie reached across the table and took Lucy's hand.

'You can talk to me about it any time' Bernie rubbed her thumb over Lucy's knuckles, trying to comfort her. She let out a loud sniff and looked up at Bernie with a smile.

'Thank you so much, Bern.' Serena looked on, not knowing whether this was just a ploy to charm Bernie, or genuine. Before Serena could interrupt, Bernie's phone went off loudly.

'Oh God- Lottie's bringing her new boyfriend with her for dinner. She's going to be here in an hour.' Bernie let up from her seat, leaving a stunned Lucy with her hand still on the table.

'Sorry Lucy, we're going to have to run. I'll see you soon' as Bernie prepared to leave, Lucy jumped up and hugged her. Bernie tensed in her arms and did not respond. Lucy awkwardly let go of her, bright red.

'Um, yeah- cya' Lucy dashed off, leaving a stunned Bernie. 

'Seriously Bern, be careful. She adores you' Serena said seriously.

'It's not like that. I just think she wants someone to look up to.' Even as she said, Bernie  wasn't sure that she believed what she was saying.

 

**One Week Later**

_B: Hi love. Staying in the on-call room tonight. Got a patient who's critical- going to need constant checks and poss. more surgery. Promise I'll treat you to a night out on Wednesday. Love u xx (Read 10:06)_

_S: No worries. Hope all goes well with your patient. Keep me updated. Love u 2 xx (Read 10:21)_

'Good catch, Fletch. Can you call Darwin to check him out.' Bernie sighed wearily, scraping her hair off her face into a lopsided bun. 

'Right, I'm going to go and try and get some sleep- I'm fully expecting to go back into surgery with him. 15 minutes obs, please Fletch, and page me if there's any change.'

Bernie colapsed into the bed, exhausted, briefly looking at her phone to see if there were any messages from Serena. She groaned, seeing it was nearly midnight.

_B: Patient arrested, but managed to shock him back. I'm going to try and get some kip, but I think I'll be back in surgery tonight. Wish I was with u- love u xx (Read 12:23)_

Bernie turned off the lights, lying boneless in the bed. Seconds after falling asleep, Bernie was woken by a knock on the door. She groaned internally, before getting up to open the door.

'I told you to page me, Fletch' Bernie said loudly through the door, while trying to find the lock in the dark.

'Sorry, heard that you were in for long night, and I thought you might need a pick me up' Lucy looked sheepish with two coffee cups in hand.

'Um, right. Thanks' Bernie said sleepily, rubbing her eyes and switching on the light.

'Come in.'

 


	3. Alone at last

'Here you go' Lucy pushed the coffee into Bernie's hand, as she went to sit at the end of the bed. Bernie hid her annoyance at losing sleep, and blearily smiled at Lucy while putting her glasses on.

'So what-'

'I wanted-'

Bernie and Lucy laughed awkwardly as they spoke in unison. Bernie nodded slightly, indicating that Lucy should speak first.

'I wanted to speak to you about something personal, Bern' she said looking her in the eye, as she had practiced this speech.

'Oh, sure. Is it about your Dad?' Bernie asked softly. Then they were interrupted by Bernie's phone buzzing on the table.

_Message from Serena: well done on getting... (12:15)_

Bernie was about to read the text, when Lucy suddenly covered her phone.

'I need to do this with no Serena. It's not about my dad, it's about us.'

'Us?' Bernie suddenly became nervous, Serena's warnings ringing in her ears.

 

**12:23, AAU**

'Hi Fletch, Bernie still in the on-call room' Serena was armed with a flask of hot chocolate, and was still wearing her pajamas underneath her coat.

'Yeah, it's starting to look like he might actually pull through. But you two are too bloody sweet. Didn't want to leave her on her own?' Fletch asked jauntily.

'Yeah. Neither of us sleep as well on our own any more. Plus I can go into theatre instead if Bern's too tired' Serena said with a sheepish smile, with her cheeks tinged faintly pink. She said goodnight to Fletch, laughing at herself.  _She's turned me into a bloody teenager. Honestly, blushing at having a sleepover at my age!_

Serena was smiling as she walked to the on-call room, opening the door quietly to avoid waking up Bernie. But instead of a sleeping Bernie, she found her lover kissing that insipid jailbait, Lucy.

As if in slow motion, Serena felt her eyes burn with tears, her throat tighten. The tiny atom of fear that Lucy had been before now, ballooned and exploded, leaving Serena hollow. The second they door opened, Bernie had pulled away from the girl and stood up to approach Serena.

But Serena was already gone, running down the stairs as if she could outrun the nightmare.

Bernie returned to the on-call room crying, finding only a sobbing Lucy and Serena's thermos filled with hot chocolate.


	4. Happy Ending: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been tough up to this part, but I promise there is a happy ending. Thanks for reading!

**12:15, the on-call room**

'It's not about my dad. It's about us'

'Us?'

'Bernie, ever since I -um. Since I-'

'Have you been drinking' Bernie demanded,  desperately wishing she had never opened the door.

'I had to. I wouldn't be able to-. To say what I need to' Lucy tried to take Bernie's hand, but she held her body stiff,  as if standing to attention.

'I've never felt like this before. I never liked the boys in school. I've never loved someone before.' Bernie's stomach dropped as she realised how bad the situation was. Cursing herself for not seeing what Serena saw from the beginning, she tried figure out what to do.

'Lucy, you are a lovely, sweet girl, and one day you will find someone who you love. You don't love me-'

'I do. I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you, wishing you were with me' Lucy was on the verge of tears, her words slurring in her effort to assure Bernie. 

'You're so young, everything feels intense at your age' Bernie rubbed her tired eyes, sighing.

'I'm not a child! I know what I feel' Lucy was now crying, wishing she could make Bernie understand.

'No, you're not a child, but having feelings for someone at your age is hard, especially if you've never felt that way about another-'

Lucy stopped her by kissing her. Bernie was stiff in her arms and was trying to pull away when the door opened.

 

After chasing Serena, Bernie texted Ric to get him to cover her shift, and prepared to deal with Lucy. With tears still streaming down her face, she knelt down to pick up the thermos that Serena had lovingly made for her. Holding it, she stood in front of Lucy, who was still crying on the bed.

'What you're feeling is lust, not love. Love is built, not from kisses and touches. It's built from eating breakfast together, from listening to boring radio dramas together, from putting up with horrendous farts after a curry, and from always being there for each other. Lust is flimsy- its a cut-out of a person that looks beautiful, but that's it.'

'Serena's not just my girlfriend, she's my best friend. I don't feel like I'm ever away from her, because she's always with me in some way. When I see an anti-tory article, I know what she would say; when I hear someone say that it would be better to privatise the NHS, I smile, imagining how she would tear a stipulated out of them. She permeates every bit of my life, and for that, I am so lucky, and so grateful.'

'You don't love me, but one day you'll find someone who you'll love,  and they'll love you too. But that person isn't me.'

Lucy nodded, still sniffing. 

'I'm so sorry Bernie. You were a friend to me and now I've messed everything up.' Bernie sighed again, trying to rub the creases from her forehead.

'I know you didn't want to hurt anyone. But I think it's best if we stop seeing each other socially.  I have to go and wait for Ric in the office. You should go home now' she pulled a note from her pocket, trying not to look the young girl in the eye. 

'Take this and get a taxi. You're in no fit state to drive. I don't want you to be here when I come back for my stuff.'

With that, Bernie walked away with a heavy heart, wishing she could go straight to Serena.

**12:58 AM**

After Ric had been briefed on her patient, Bernie went back to the on-call room to collect her things.

Lucy, thankfully, was gone. 

She quickly changed out of her scrubs, and put the thermos in her bag. She clicked on her phone to check the time, but was surprised to see two messages from Serena.

_S: I understand what happened. Come home as soon as you can- we need to talk. (Sent 12:37)_

_S: I still love you x (Sent 12:40)_

 


	5. Happy Ending: Part 2

Bernie's palms were sweating, knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel. Wiping away the last of her tears, she took a deep breath and got out of the car.

At the front door, she didn't know what to do with her key. Serena had given her a key because she trusted her. Another wave of guilt washed over Bernie as she put the key away, ringing the doorbell instead. Although it seemed silly to her, using the key tonight would have felt invading Serena's home. 

Serena answered the door, still dressed in the coat and pajamas she had fled from Bernie in. Her eyes were red and her face was unreadable. They walked to the living room in silence, where Serena sat and Bernie stood stiff, allowing Serena to scrutinise her. After agonisingly sitting in silence for what felt like hours, Bernie broke the silence.

'I am so sorry. Sorry doesn't cover it. I feel vile and guilty and it really wasn't what it seemed' Serena kept on staring at Bernie, making her shrink smaller and smaller.

'If you can't forgive me, I can understand that. But I want- no. I  _need_ you to know that there's only you. You're my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning. You are so amazing- I see how much love you pour into everything you do. When I left the army, and I was alone and scared in this foreign place, you were there- you gave my life meaning again, and you tethered me to the life I'd forgotten- my kids, and caring for people.'

'Serena, I don't think it's possible for me to ever love someone after you. You have given me happiness, a home and let me be me. It scares me how much I love you- if I lost you, I would lose something that I wouldn't ever be able to replace.'

'I don't care about Lucy-she kissed me and you walked in at the wrong moment. I love you-' Bernie stopped as she saw that Serena was starting to smile.

'I know. Lucy rang me while you were waiting for Ric, in floods of tears and told me what happened' Bernie stood with her mouth slightly agape.

'My problem isn't the kiss, I know that wasn't you. What I want to know is why you didn't listen to me when I warned you' Serena sounded exhausted and reached her hand out. Bernie took it, her body relaxing and sat next to Serena.

'I truly thought you were imagining things'

'Seriously?'

'Yes. Why would she- I'm old enough to be her mother-'

'Was that it? I can understand that. It can be fun- I do rather enjoy that young barman at Albies flirting with me, but-'

'No- nothing like that. I just couldn't believe she would be interested in me' Bernie down looked uncomfortable.

'Bernie, I was straight before I met you! How can you think she wouldn't be interested in-'

'I mean, I don't know why she would be interested in me when you're there'

Serena snorted at, raising her eyebrow sardonically.

'Flattery won't get you get you anywhere, Wolfe'

'No, no. I'm serious. I don't know why anyone would look at me when I'm with you. You're beautiful, and kind, and funny. In a room, everyone wants to look at you. Everyone loves you as soon they meet you; everything about you makes people want to be around you.

I couldn't-  _can't_ imagine somebody looking at me when you're in the room. Until she turned up drunk in the on-call room, I genuinely thought she wasn't interested in me like that'

Bernie was crying, tightly gripping Serena's hand. She still hasn't looked up from her lap, when Serena pressedher forehead against Bernie's, and tilted her chin up to kiss her. Cupping Bernie's face, Serena carefully swiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.

'I so wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Bern. You're just as beautiful and funny and kind as I am.' Serena kissed her again, and leaned back on the sofa, getting Bernie to rest her head in her lap.

'I know this wasn't your fault. And she was young and confused. Just remember- I'm  _always_ right' Bernie snorted at this, and they both laughed, almost hysterically. They laughed for almost a full minute, until they were out of breath. Finally, Bernie sat up and smiled at Serena.

'I think we could both do with a hot chocolate' Serena said, taking off her coat, going to the kitchen with Bernie in tow.

 


End file.
